Politics and Fashion, or, The White Centrist’s Prayer
Written in November 2019.
“Finally, a white dude is telling his story.”
That’s the voice of the fake woke white dude standing over my shoulder. I’m going to acknowledge him quite a few times here, so you might as well get to know him. The Fake Woke White Dude — that’s a mouthful, so we’ll call him Tyler — Tyler is the ghost of the Right Opinions Boy that most white kids become, and often stay that way the rest of their life. Don’t get me wrong — it’s better than the alternatives, who we’ll list here in no particular order:
- The “I don’t care about race or politics” white man — The most common by far. Probably well-intentioned, but not enough to do any reading. Might say things like “I don’t see color” or something equally ignorant. Calls himself a centrist.
- The “Intellectual” — Is willing to talk about racial issues, speaks in coded racial language. Will probably talk exclusively about the advancements of “the west” which means white people. A desperate need to also be oppressed. Also calls himself a centrist. Peterson vibes.
- The MAGA kid — Will be antagonists in historical fiction for decades to come. Will later call themselves a centrist.
But Tyler? He’s just content with being off this list. He stans the political superheroes, his politics begin and end on twitter and he’s an activist, darling. He hates being white and he’ll tell you upfront because he doesn’t actually hate it, but saying so makes him a hero. An ounce of egalitarian belief is all it takes for Tyler, who will never have to justify his identity or his social standing to anyone if it came down to it.
In the year of our Lord 2016, there was a bit of a change in the winds. I’m going to give you, the reader, the respect of assuming you’re privy to it and that you haven’t been comatose for three years and change. To put it gently, politics, entertainment, and culture were suddenly no longer three different things. Without wanting this to become an essay on politics and the rise of populism (something that I’d wager both you and I are unfit to discuss right now), we are in an uncomfortable position here. We talk about race, we talk about politics.
To American society’s detriment, a high schooler is not expected to be informed. A high school student is expected to endure the status quo until they reach the ‘real world’. But in the years leading up to 2016? Politics is a show, opinions are fashion, baby!
Every white person you meet will tell you when pressed that they’re not racist because that is the most unfashionable thing a white person can be. Most of them are telling you the truth, or at least speaking in good faith. But fashion changes, it evolves, and if you’ve paid a modicum of attention to high fashion, you’ll know that the runway looks a little different than your typical streetwear. Everything wrapped around a runway model is trying to stand out — that’s the point of high fashion. So when your opinions are a part of the look, what do you do as a white boy who presumably at least knows the baseline, t-shirt/jeans “I’m not racist”? Tyler is distressed by this, and won’t be caught dead in last season’s opinions. Until he finds one that pops. Self-loathing.
“I hate that I’m white”, he says. Wow! Bold! Brave! Look at him go! Talking and talking, knuckles white around his megaphone — I hate that I’m white! Yeah! Say it again, Tyler! Tyler’s patting his own back so hard he’s dislocated his shoulder, which he doesn’t mind — all the more pity. He buttons his flannel shirt and cuffs his jeans, ready to face the world with all the right things to say. He votes blue, he retweets other white people talking about racial injustice, and when his childhood friend who grew up to be a MAGA Boy starts talking about immigration, only then does he shut his mouth.
Tyler has a lot more in common with that list of #cancelled types of white men than he’d like to admit. Tyler doesn’t actually care about politics, he didn’t even vote. He lives in a blue state, so he just assumed that it didn’t matter. Tyler cares about how he looks, though, because how he looks has never been a problem. Tyler wants to maintain the luxury of being unnoticed and inoffensive — commonly known as privilege. It’s been comfortable. Unfortunately for Tyler, complacency is out. Haven’t you seen the news? Have you heard what he tweeted today? And now those white people are making the rest of us look bad! Absolutely reprehensible. Ow, my shoulder.
Being Tyler was nice. It was fun, easy, I got to feel like I was on the right side of history. I got to say things like woke and canceled, and I didn’t even have to be marginalized for the pleasure. But that McDonald’s ideology only lasts as long as other people don’t notice that Tyler doesn’t actually do anything- no protests, organization, direct action, or education. He’s just chasing the fashion. Because Tyler has no skin (if you’ll excuse the pun and subsequent appropriation of slang) in the game. He doesn’t have to care about race or politics in a meaningful way because it will never touch him. He’s got one base to cover — “I’m not racist”. The rest is trendy cuts and fabrics.
